No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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