CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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