yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
