THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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