Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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