I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
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