Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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