Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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