he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
