Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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