Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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