That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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