i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
