Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
