oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
