I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Randomize
