He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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