Soap is not a condiment
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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