i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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