what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
