the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
