well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
a search helicopter?!
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize