so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
