I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize