Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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