If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize