Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Randomize
