Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Just pee around me
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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