U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
