I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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