glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
