Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
