i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
