I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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