I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
