I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
