I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
