He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
