My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
