The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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