So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
