kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
