shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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