we have officially lost it.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
