He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
you inspire me to be a worse person
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
