don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
