everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
