I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
