I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
