"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
