can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize
