ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
