Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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