I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize