Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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