question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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