Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize