U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
