Pregnant stripper...not hot.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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