at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
A bitchslap is in order.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
