i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Omg I joined a choir last night...
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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