He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
